伊壁鸠鲁曾说过一句笨话:“人生不过是一座大戏台。”似乎本应努力追求高尚事业的人类,却只像玩偶般地逢场作戏。虽然爱情的奴隶并不同于那般只顾吃喝的禽兽,但毕竟也只是眼目色相的奴隶,而上帝赐人以眼睛本来是有更高尚的用途的。
It is a strange thing, to note the excess of this passion, and how it braves the nature, and value of things, by this; that the speaking in a perpetual hyperbole, is comely in nothing but in love. Neither is it merely in the phrase; for whereas it hath been well said, that the arch-flatterer, with whom all the petty flatterers have intelligence, is a man’s self; certainly the lover is more. For there was never proud man thought so absurdly well of himself, as the lover doth of the person loved; and therefore it was well said, that it is impossible to love, and to be wise. Neither doth this weakness appear to others only, and not to the party loved; but to the loved most of all, except the love be reciproque. For it is a true rule, that love is ever rewarded, either with the reciproque, or with an inward and secret contempt.
过度的爱情追求,必然会降低人本身的价值。例如,只有在爱情中,才总是需要那种浮夸谄媚的辞令。而在其他场合,同样的辞令只能招人耻笑。古人有一句名言: “最大的奉承,人总是留给自己的。”——只有对情人的奉承要算例外。因为甚至最骄傲的人,也甘愿在情人面前自轻自贱。所以古人说得好:“就是神在爱情中也难保持聪明。”爱人的这种弱点不仅在外人眼中是明显的,就是在被追求者的眼中也会很明显——除非她(他)也在追求他(她)。所以,爱情的代价就是如此,不能得到回爱,就会得到一种深藏于心的轻蔑,这是一条永真的定律。